I had no idea these had names!

1. AGLET - The plain or ornamental covering on the end of a shoelace.
2. ARMSAYE - The armhole in clothing.
3. CHANKING - Spat-out food, such as rinds or pits.
4. COLUMELLA NASI - The bottom part of the nose between the nostrils.
5. DRAGÉES - Small beadlike pieces of candy, usually silver-coloured, used for decorating cookies, cakes and sundaes.
6. FEAT - A dangling curl of hair.
7. FERRULE - The metal band on a pencil that holds the eraser in place.
8. HARP - The small metal hoop that supports a lampshade.
9. HEMIDEMISEMIQUAVER - A 64th note. (A 32nd is a demisemiquaver, and a 16th note is a semiquaver.)
10. JARNS, 11. NITTLES,12. GRAWLIX,13. and QUIMP - Various squiggles used to denote cussing in comic books.
14. KEEPER - The loop on a belt that keeps the end in place after it has passed through the buckle.
15. KICK or PUNT - The indentation at the bottom of some wine bottles. It gives added strength to the bottle but lessens its holding capacity.
16. LIRIPIPE - The long tail on a graduate's academic hood.
17. MINIMUS - The little finger or toe.
18. NEF - An ornamental stand in the shape of a ship.
19. OBDORMITION - The numbness caused by pressure on a nerve; when a limb is 'asleep'.
20. OCTOTHORPE - The symbol '#' on a telephone handset. Bell Labs' engineer Don Macpherson created the word in the 1960s by combining octo-, as in eight, with the name of one of his favourite athletes, 1912 Olympic decathlon champion Jim Thorpe.
21. OPHRYON - The space between the eyebrows on a line with the top of the eye sockets.22. PEEN - The end of a hammer head opposite the striking face.
23. PHOSPHENES - The lights you see when you close your eyes hard. Technically the luminous impressions are due to the excitation of the retina caused by pressure on the eyeball.
24. PURLICUE - The space between the thumb and extended forefinger.
25. RASCETA - Creases on the inside of the wrist.
26. ROWEL - The revolving star on the back of a cowboy's spurs.
27. SADDLE - The rounded part on the top of a matchbook.
28. SCROOP - The rustle of silk.
29. SNORKEL BOX - A mailbox with a protruding receiver to allow people to deposit mail without leaving their cars.
30. SPRAINTS - Otter dung.
31. TANG - The projecting prong on a tool or instrument.
32. WAMBLE - Stomach rumbling.
33. ZARF - A holder for a handleless coffee cup.

Nothing's Coming...

Nothings coming. What I know of the world is bottlenecked behind my insufficient talent. If I could conjure the urgency of my heart into a single sentence or simply describe the hummingbirds nectared lance spearing the contents of a blossom while a tom cat pads toward him through the peonies. Hell, Id drink to that. But I cant conjure an opener, not a trickle of truth, let alone a stream of unconsciousness made conscious by a paragraph that proves we still have our humanity, inalienable from our flesh, as long as there is a glass of even-filled to offer a toast, soil and sun, toil and trouble, the intoxication of summer days spent down by the river, young-limbed and bramble wild, splashing through the current, stealing the first kisses in battered pick-up trucks with Patsy playing and one knee painstaked against the steering wheel. What was her name who dared to wetly whisper your favorite tune into your ear, with the scar on her hip, and the father that died in a grassfire? We all yalp sweetly and mark an X in our own way to state we are alive. Patience. Of course faith ferments, if you sit on your green urgency too long. But whats the hurry? Have a sip of wine, swish it across your tongue. What we all know of sorrow, let this moment stand as fruitful enough. Edit later.
~RMA

Before me a bottle...

Before me a bottle, a corkscrew, an empty glass. Do I dare? This is a magic vintage, and my spirit weakens from the remembering. The bottle-temptress is green, smoky-green, green of lichens and cool thickets where lovers escape from parched Augusts and prying eyes. Green of layered petticoats hiding soft and voluptuous shapes, a liquid-like rustling that hints at meadows full of birdsong and fountains sweet to please. Green beaker of hope, you are the throb of cult mysteries. You are raw emeralds and the drum of approaching thunder. I tremble before your dark green depths, your swollen blood reds and delicious overripe blacks. O beautiful red-breathed fairy in your green glass gown, nymph of golden-spurred drunkenness, handmaiden of couplets and charms, when I lift your mouth to make you mine you need no coaxing: inch by inch you reveal your naked scarlet self, a cloudburst of pinks and blushes, a torrent of flesh-soft rubies crushed together in a midnight lake of shimmers and crimson licks. I put my lips to your yearning pools and drink. Drink! Your peppered velvets soften my tongue, my grateful throat. When I taste you I taste springtime and rain, violets and eternity, your liquid soul a deep dim of colliding nights and secret harbors. When I taste you you make my mouth electric, and shock my words with lightening. I steady my pen, desperate to describe the heavenly lift of your burgundy wings. But first, another sip
~ZA

Yes, Chuck. I, too, will post your praises.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell them there was a stripper in it

Butt Worms Suck

I was once awakened from a sound, pleasant bout of somnambulance only to find a three‑lipped, ringed worm sticking out of my butt, eating cheerios with strawberries sliced up on top. While amazed by it's intelligence and agility (especially for a annelid), I couldn't help but be the slightest bit disgusted.

I took a pencil from my nightstand and began the tedious chore of wrapping the worm around it, allowing me to turn the pencil, pulling the worm out of my rectum as it wound around the pencil. I didn't want to pull it out too quickly, for fear of ripping it, leaving part of a dead worm in my digestive track. The worm itself was surprisingly long ‑about 350 ft, as it turned out. This task lasted approximately 17 hours, until about 7 PM the next evening.

Needless to say, I was exhausted by this point; and so fell quickly into a deep sleep. Unfortunately, I forgot to dispose of the foul brute, which was piled several feet high by my side. At about 4:30 the next morning, I was again roused by the demon beast chewing on my leg. By that point he was already up to the knee cap.

But that was a long time ago, and now Harvey and I see each other frequently. He moved into an apartment down the hall. We play racquetball on Thursdays (incredible what they can do with prosthetics these days). But the bastard cheats when we play bridge. And that's why I think that butt worms suck.

Spam-ku

Pink tender morsel,

Glistening with salty gel.

What the hell is it?

Ears, snouts and innards,

A homogeneous mass.

Pass another slice.

Cube of cold pinkness

Yellow specks of porcine fat.

Give me a spork please.

Old man seeks doctor.

"I eat SPAM daily", says he.

Angioplasty.

Quite unnatural,

The tortured shape of this "food":

A small pink coffin.

Sliding from the can

Fully saturated fat

Makes me want to retch