Here are the Democratic President Candidates I would support.
N.Y. Senator Hillary Clinton, D, 59 y.o.
She believes in:
Universal Healthcare. (agree)
Pathway to Citizenship (agree)
Opposed to abortion, but is pro-choice (agree)
Death Penalty (sweet.)
Prayer in school (agree)
Stem Cell research (good.)
Danny M Frances, Teacher, D, 66 y.o.
This dude has my vote.
Seriously. Graduated high school. Went to Vietnam. 3 times. Got shot several times. Went back for more. Finished up and decided to teach. Speaks 3 languages.
I have more respect for Danny Frances than General Wesley Clark, only because of where he was during the war. In the action... not in an office. We need a President with a big set of balls. Sorry Hillary. Your balls are tiny in comparison.
Not only can this guy lead us in war, but can teach our children.
He may not be a genius, but he definitely has good, solid core values.
He may not be a lawyer or a doctor, but he's a true man.
Not afraid to die for his country. Not afraid to take on the responsibility for teaching our children.
DON'T GIVE UP, DANNY.
Please. I honestly believe that this country needs a President just like you.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Thursday, July 12, 2007
I had no idea these had names!
1. AGLET - The plain or ornamental covering on the end of a shoelace.
2. ARMSAYE - The armhole in clothing.
3. CHANKING - Spat-out food, such as rinds or pits.
4. COLUMELLA NASI - The bottom part of the nose between the nostrils.
5. DRAGÉES - Small beadlike pieces of candy, usually silver-coloured, used for decorating cookies, cakes and sundaes.
6. FEAT - A dangling curl of hair.
7. FERRULE - The metal band on a pencil that holds the eraser in place.
8. HARP - The small metal hoop that supports a lampshade.
9. HEMIDEMISEMIQUAVER - A 64th note. (A 32nd is a demisemiquaver, and a 16th note is a semiquaver.)
10. JARNS, 11. NITTLES,12. GRAWLIX,13. and QUIMP - Various squiggles used to denote cussing in comic books.
14. KEEPER - The loop on a belt that keeps the end in place after it has passed through the buckle.
15. KICK or PUNT - The indentation at the bottom of some wine bottles. It gives added strength to the bottle but lessens its holding capacity.
16. LIRIPIPE - The long tail on a graduate's academic hood.
17. MINIMUS - The little finger or toe.
18. NEF - An ornamental stand in the shape of a ship.
19. OBDORMITION - The numbness caused by pressure on a nerve; when a limb is 'asleep'.
20. OCTOTHORPE - The symbol '#' on a telephone handset. Bell Labs' engineer Don Macpherson created the word in the 1960s by combining octo-, as in eight, with the name of one of his favourite athletes, 1912 Olympic decathlon champion Jim Thorpe.
21. OPHRYON - The space between the eyebrows on a line with the top of the eye sockets.22. PEEN - The end of a hammer head opposite the striking face.
23. PHOSPHENES - The lights you see when you close your eyes hard. Technically the luminous impressions are due to the excitation of the retina caused by pressure on the eyeball.
24. PURLICUE - The space between the thumb and extended forefinger.
25. RASCETA - Creases on the inside of the wrist.
26. ROWEL - The revolving star on the back of a cowboy's spurs.
27. SADDLE - The rounded part on the top of a matchbook.
28. SCROOP - The rustle of silk.
29. SNORKEL BOX - A mailbox with a protruding receiver to allow people to deposit mail without leaving their cars.
30. SPRAINTS - Otter dung.
31. TANG - The projecting prong on a tool or instrument.
32. WAMBLE - Stomach rumbling.
33. ZARF - A holder for a handleless coffee cup.
2. ARMSAYE - The armhole in clothing.
3. CHANKING - Spat-out food, such as rinds or pits.
4. COLUMELLA NASI - The bottom part of the nose between the nostrils.
5. DRAGÉES - Small beadlike pieces of candy, usually silver-coloured, used for decorating cookies, cakes and sundaes.
6. FEAT - A dangling curl of hair.
7. FERRULE - The metal band on a pencil that holds the eraser in place.
8. HARP - The small metal hoop that supports a lampshade.
9. HEMIDEMISEMIQUAVER - A 64th note. (A 32nd is a demisemiquaver, and a 16th note is a semiquaver.)
10. JARNS, 11. NITTLES,12. GRAWLIX,13. and QUIMP - Various squiggles used to denote cussing in comic books.
14. KEEPER - The loop on a belt that keeps the end in place after it has passed through the buckle.
15. KICK or PUNT - The indentation at the bottom of some wine bottles. It gives added strength to the bottle but lessens its holding capacity.
16. LIRIPIPE - The long tail on a graduate's academic hood.
17. MINIMUS - The little finger or toe.
18. NEF - An ornamental stand in the shape of a ship.
19. OBDORMITION - The numbness caused by pressure on a nerve; when a limb is 'asleep'.
20. OCTOTHORPE - The symbol '#' on a telephone handset. Bell Labs' engineer Don Macpherson created the word in the 1960s by combining octo-, as in eight, with the name of one of his favourite athletes, 1912 Olympic decathlon champion Jim Thorpe.
21. OPHRYON - The space between the eyebrows on a line with the top of the eye sockets.22. PEEN - The end of a hammer head opposite the striking face.
23. PHOSPHENES - The lights you see when you close your eyes hard. Technically the luminous impressions are due to the excitation of the retina caused by pressure on the eyeball.
24. PURLICUE - The space between the thumb and extended forefinger.
25. RASCETA - Creases on the inside of the wrist.
26. ROWEL - The revolving star on the back of a cowboy's spurs.
27. SADDLE - The rounded part on the top of a matchbook.
28. SCROOP - The rustle of silk.
29. SNORKEL BOX - A mailbox with a protruding receiver to allow people to deposit mail without leaving their cars.
30. SPRAINTS - Otter dung.
31. TANG - The projecting prong on a tool or instrument.
32. WAMBLE - Stomach rumbling.
33. ZARF - A holder for a handleless coffee cup.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
New Book Idea
So, for those of you who didn't know, I love to write.
I've been working on a short novel entitled "The Last Janitor" for about 4 years now and have hit a wall. One of the things I read on ChuckPalanhiuk.net is to brainstorm new ideas to help jog yourself out of a writers block. I'm not going to say anything about it, but I already have the plot laid out. I will reveal tiny bits and pieces as I make headway.
I've been working on a short novel entitled "The Last Janitor" for about 4 years now and have hit a wall. One of the things I read on ChuckPalanhiuk.net is to brainstorm new ideas to help jog yourself out of a writers block. I'm not going to say anything about it, but I already have the plot laid out. I will reveal tiny bits and pieces as I make headway.
Check out my Writer's Cult...
AFI TOP 100 U.S. FILMS (for those too lazy to follow the previous link)
AFI TOP 100 U.S. FILMS
1. "Citizen Kane," 1941. 2. "The Godfather," 1972. 3. "Casablanca," 1942. 4. "Raging Bull," 1980. 5. "Singin' in the Rain," 1952. 6. "Gone With the Wind," 1939. 7. "Lawrence of Arabia," 1962. 8. "Schindler's List," 1993. 9. "Vertigo," 1958. 10. "The Wizard of Oz," 1939. 11. "City Lights," 1931. 12. "The Searchers," 1956. 13. "Star Wars," 1977. 14. "Psycho," 1960. 15. "2001: A Space Odyssey," 1968. 16. "Sunset Blvd.", 1950. 17. "The Graduate," 1967. 18. "The General," 1927. 19. "On the Waterfront," 1954. 20. "It's a Wonderful Life," 1946. 21. "Chinatown," 1974. 22. "Some Like It Hot," 1959. 23. "The Grapes of Wrath," 1940. 24. "E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial," 1982. 25. "To Kill a Mockingbird," 1962. 26. "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington," 1939. 27. "High Noon," 1952. 28. "All About Eve," 1950. 29. "Double Indemnity," 1944. 30. "Apocalypse Now," 1979. 31. "The Maltese Falcon," 1941. 32. "The Godfather Part II," 1974. 33. "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest," 1975. 34. "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs," 1937. 35. "Annie Hall," 1977. 36. "The Bridge on the River Kwai," 1957. 37. "The Best Years of Our Lives," 1946. 38. "The Treasure of the Sierra Madre," 1948. 39. "Dr. Strangelove," 1964. 40. "The Sound of Music," 1965. 41. "King Kong," 1933. 42. "Bonnie and Clyde," 1967. 43. "Midnight Cowboy," 1969. 44. "The Philadelphia Story," 1940. 45. "Shane," 1953. 46. "It Happened One Night," 1934. 47. "A Streetcar Named Desire," 1951. 48. "Rear Window," 1954. 49. "Intolerance," 1916. 50. "The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring," 2001. 51. "West Side Story," 1961. 52. "Taxi Driver," 1976. 53. "The Deer Hunter," 1978. 54. "M-A-S-H," 1970. 55. "North by Northwest," 1959. 56. "Jaws," 1975. 57. "Rocky," 1976. 58. "The Gold Rush," 1925. 59. "Nashville," 1975. 60. "Duck Soup," 1933. 61. "Sullivan's Travels," 1941. 62. "American Graffiti," 1973. 63. "Cabaret," 1972. 64. "Network," 1976. 65. "The African Queen," 1951. 66. "Raiders of the Lost Ark," 1981. 67. "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?", 1966. 68. "Unforgiven," 1992. 69. "Tootsie," 1982. 70. "A Clockwork Orange," 1971. 71. "Saving Private Ryan," 1998. 72. "The Shawshank Redemption," 1994. 73. "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid," 1969. 74. "The Silence of the Lambs," 1991. 75. "In the Heat of the Night," 1967. 76. "Forrest Gump," 1994. 77. "All the President's Men," 1976. 78. "Modern Times," 1936. 79. "The Wild Bunch," 1969. 80. "The Apartment, 1960. 81. "Spartacus," 1960. 82. "Sunrise," 1927. 83. "Titanic," 1997. 84. "Easy Rider," 1969. 85. "A Night at the Opera," 1935. 86. "Platoon," 1986. 87. "12 Angry Men," 1957. 88. "Bringing Up Baby," 1938. 89. "The Sixth Sense," 1999. 90. "Swing Time," 1936. 91. "Sophie's Choice," 1982. 92. "Goodfellas," 1990. 93. "The French Connection," 1971. 94. "Pulp Fiction," 1994. 95. "The Last Picture Show," 1971. 96. "Do the Right Thing," 1989. 97. "Blade Runner," 1982. 98. "Yankee Doodle Dandy," 1942. 99. "Toy Story," 1995. 100. "Ben-Hur," 1959.
1. "Citizen Kane," 1941. 2. "The Godfather," 1972. 3. "Casablanca," 1942. 4. "Raging Bull," 1980. 5. "Singin' in the Rain," 1952. 6. "Gone With the Wind," 1939. 7. "Lawrence of Arabia," 1962. 8. "Schindler's List," 1993. 9. "Vertigo," 1958. 10. "The Wizard of Oz," 1939. 11. "City Lights," 1931. 12. "The Searchers," 1956. 13. "Star Wars," 1977. 14. "Psycho," 1960. 15. "2001: A Space Odyssey," 1968. 16. "Sunset Blvd.", 1950. 17. "The Graduate," 1967. 18. "The General," 1927. 19. "On the Waterfront," 1954. 20. "It's a Wonderful Life," 1946. 21. "Chinatown," 1974. 22. "Some Like It Hot," 1959. 23. "The Grapes of Wrath," 1940. 24. "E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial," 1982. 25. "To Kill a Mockingbird," 1962. 26. "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington," 1939. 27. "High Noon," 1952. 28. "All About Eve," 1950. 29. "Double Indemnity," 1944. 30. "Apocalypse Now," 1979. 31. "The Maltese Falcon," 1941. 32. "The Godfather Part II," 1974. 33. "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest," 1975. 34. "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs," 1937. 35. "Annie Hall," 1977. 36. "The Bridge on the River Kwai," 1957. 37. "The Best Years of Our Lives," 1946. 38. "The Treasure of the Sierra Madre," 1948. 39. "Dr. Strangelove," 1964. 40. "The Sound of Music," 1965. 41. "King Kong," 1933. 42. "Bonnie and Clyde," 1967. 43. "Midnight Cowboy," 1969. 44. "The Philadelphia Story," 1940. 45. "Shane," 1953. 46. "It Happened One Night," 1934. 47. "A Streetcar Named Desire," 1951. 48. "Rear Window," 1954. 49. "Intolerance," 1916. 50. "The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring," 2001. 51. "West Side Story," 1961. 52. "Taxi Driver," 1976. 53. "The Deer Hunter," 1978. 54. "M-A-S-H," 1970. 55. "North by Northwest," 1959. 56. "Jaws," 1975. 57. "Rocky," 1976. 58. "The Gold Rush," 1925. 59. "Nashville," 1975. 60. "Duck Soup," 1933. 61. "Sullivan's Travels," 1941. 62. "American Graffiti," 1973. 63. "Cabaret," 1972. 64. "Network," 1976. 65. "The African Queen," 1951. 66. "Raiders of the Lost Ark," 1981. 67. "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?", 1966. 68. "Unforgiven," 1992. 69. "Tootsie," 1982. 70. "A Clockwork Orange," 1971. 71. "Saving Private Ryan," 1998. 72. "The Shawshank Redemption," 1994. 73. "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid," 1969. 74. "The Silence of the Lambs," 1991. 75. "In the Heat of the Night," 1967. 76. "Forrest Gump," 1994. 77. "All the President's Men," 1976. 78. "Modern Times," 1936. 79. "The Wild Bunch," 1969. 80. "The Apartment, 1960. 81. "Spartacus," 1960. 82. "Sunrise," 1927. 83. "Titanic," 1997. 84. "Easy Rider," 1969. 85. "A Night at the Opera," 1935. 86. "Platoon," 1986. 87. "12 Angry Men," 1957. 88. "Bringing Up Baby," 1938. 89. "The Sixth Sense," 1999. 90. "Swing Time," 1936. 91. "Sophie's Choice," 1982. 92. "Goodfellas," 1990. 93. "The French Connection," 1971. 94. "Pulp Fiction," 1994. 95. "The Last Picture Show," 1971. 96. "Do the Right Thing," 1989. 97. "Blade Runner," 1982. 98. "Yankee Doodle Dandy," 1942. 99. "Toy Story," 1995. 100. "Ben-Hur," 1959.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
I'm a Wood Specialist. An Artisan, if you will...
I got a dremel XPR 400 so I could make my mother her 60th birthday present.
Wooden dishes. I know it sounds weird, but wooden dishes are wicked cool.
She's gonna get 2 plates, a big wooden spoon with ergonomic handle and extra deep spoon pool (you know, the non-handle part of the spoon is going to be deeper than most "store-bought" wooden spoons) with a ladle-like end, a red oak cutting board with blood moat, and some other flora I can create. I'll take pictures of my craftiness in it's different stages.
You will not be impressed. Yet.
Here's my tool. Not MY tool. but my TOOL. My Wood Tool.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Go for it....
Today is the day. The final chapter. Rocky Balboa.
I was at The Tavern with my friend Scoob last night and the trailer played on the tube.
I got muy excited. Muy. Denise, the bartender, asked me questions. Tons.
I not only knew all the answers, but provided a near perfect rendition of the "Rocky Theme Song"
If you didn't know, This year marks the 30th anniversary of Rocky.
Can you believe it?? That bitch has been fighting for a LONG time!
Go, Rocky. Go.
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.
Not that I expect anyone to really comment here, but I am really interested to see who is reading this. If you don't want to leave a comment, just send me an e-mail and say hi.
I won't e-bomb you... I promise.
Monday, December 18, 2006
ARE YOU F**KING KIDDING ME???
.
It doesn't take a Rocket Scientist.....
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The answer is actually D: A Kettle
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Yes, Vieira.... that's my final answer.
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.
.
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on a different note, I once knew an Elephant named Peanut....
Friday, December 15, 2006
Dry. But so very funny...
Stock Watch
Stock prices are booming while analysts scramble to figure out how, after three straight quarters of underperformance, this beverage company is in the midst of record-breaking sales.
12/15/06 8:21 AM
Stock prices are booming while analysts scramble to figure out how, after three straight quarters of underperformance, this beverage company is in the midst of record-breaking sales.
12/15/06 8:21 AM
Thursday, December 14, 2006
It was a Republican!
With the change of power in the Senate swinging from the Republicans to the Democrats, and that tightly gripped thread of power so aggravatingly held by someone with poor health...
I think he was a target by the GOP to swing that balance of power back... ooooh the conspiracy... CSI: Senate.. coming to Fox in January....
Doctor says Sen. Johnson suffered brain hemorrhage
A Democratic senator from South Dakota was in critical condition Thursday after undergoing surgery to repair a brain hemorrhage.
I think he was a target by the GOP to swing that balance of power back... ooooh the conspiracy... CSI: Senate.. coming to Fox in January....
Doctor says Sen. Johnson suffered brain hemorrhage
A Democratic senator from South Dakota was in critical condition Thursday after undergoing surgery to repair a brain hemorrhage.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
I'm sorry, Blogger beta....
Didn't mean to not post in 4 months.
Not my fault.
Life happens.
Dogs happen.
Kids happen.
You, however, happen when nothing else happens.
I think that's wrong, however. I think it should be opposite.
I think YOU should happen BECAUSE things happen.
Today, I vow to change. To be the right kind of blogger.
To blog the good blog.
To not only talk the blog, but walk the blog.
Not my fault.
Life happens.
Dogs happen.
Kids happen.
You, however, happen when nothing else happens.
I think that's wrong, however. I think it should be opposite.
I think YOU should happen BECAUSE things happen.
Today, I vow to change. To be the right kind of blogger.
To blog the good blog.
To not only talk the blog, but walk the blog.
Tuesday, August 8, 2006
Proud owner of a 4 year old...
At 12:05 yesterday I celebrated Emma's birthday. I think back to the last four years and how much she's grown... and how much I've grown and learned. It's wonderful that Emma has come into contact with those important to me and they are able to share in our life. It's equally as wonderful that Emma has become their little friend as well. Many thanks to everyone who called or emailed yesterday to wish Emma a Happy Birthday...
Thursday, July 6, 2006
withdrawal, employment, etc.
Withdrawal has already begun even though Monkey doesn't leave until Saturday morning. I will see her Friday for a little while, but then won't see her again for 10 days. I don't like this. She and her mom are going to the beach for 10 days. I've gone 7 days before. It was horrible, but I had things to do to keep me occupied. This time, I have nothing. Well, that's not true. I start a new job on Monday. That will keep me occupied during the day. But at night, I can already see myself sitting on my porch. Missing her and our routine. Smoking a shit-ton of cigarettes.
On a different note, 2 weeks ago I accepted an offer to work at a Robotics company in Durham. I have only been at Misys for 10 months, but decided that it was a strategic move. Strategic because it's a new, privately owned company that gives employees the ability to use their creative capacity to get the job done. I'm pretty fucking creative, at times. I think I'm a perfect fit. Not only will the job, company, and money kick ass, but I'll get to work again with one of my best friends from Kodak. I taught him alot of what he knows, so it will be easy to step into this role already knowing his expectations and already respecting his work ethic. Not to mention a built-in smoking buddy.
Let's see. Puppy fever has set in after going with Jessica to pick up her new Shit-zoo. A quick trip to the pound was just what I needed. I've decided on a chocolate lab. Good with kids. Docile (when they are older), easy to train, and just a great dog. I might have to wait until after Monkey's surgery and her new diet starts, because Gluten-free food is expensive! 3 bucks for a small box of noodles! Holy shit! I'm going to have to start donating plasma just to be able to afford to feed my child!
I had a party on Monday. It was AWESOME. My favorite people came over for wine, coffee and j.d., and whatever else we could think of to mix with coffee. Good friendship was definitely felt that night. I look forward to the next one.
On a different note, 2 weeks ago I accepted an offer to work at a Robotics company in Durham. I have only been at Misys for 10 months, but decided that it was a strategic move. Strategic because it's a new, privately owned company that gives employees the ability to use their creative capacity to get the job done. I'm pretty fucking creative, at times. I think I'm a perfect fit. Not only will the job, company, and money kick ass, but I'll get to work again with one of my best friends from Kodak. I taught him alot of what he knows, so it will be easy to step into this role already knowing his expectations and already respecting his work ethic. Not to mention a built-in smoking buddy.
Let's see. Puppy fever has set in after going with Jessica to pick up her new Shit-zoo. A quick trip to the pound was just what I needed. I've decided on a chocolate lab. Good with kids. Docile (when they are older), easy to train, and just a great dog. I might have to wait until after Monkey's surgery and her new diet starts, because Gluten-free food is expensive! 3 bucks for a small box of noodles! Holy shit! I'm going to have to start donating plasma just to be able to afford to feed my child!
I had a party on Monday. It was AWESOME. My favorite people came over for wine, coffee and j.d., and whatever else we could think of to mix with coffee. Good friendship was definitely felt that night. I look forward to the next one.
Thursday, June 29, 2006
The Small Male Froofroo Dog Naming List
A project of sorts was handed to me this morning as I sit on my porch in my rocking chair sipping a cup-a-joe, sifting through e-mails, wondering what I am going to do with my day. Timing couldn't have been better, since my choices for todays meanderings were:
1) movie watching and tostito munching
2) dishes, laundry and miscellany
3) go to work (yea right. What are they gonna do? Fire me?)
4) smoke cigarettes and count how many bugs are stuck between the screen and frame on my porch
5) make a list of puppy names befitting a king. A master. A rough, tough bastard with an affinity for leg humping and toy hiding..
I choose 5. I'm a good namer.
Mind you, this list is not all-inclusive. Names will come and go in my mind and I shant spend too much time on one name before moving on to another. Im a.d.d. like that. Jessica wants a big name for a small dog. Or a funny name. I can do that. I can do both. At the same time. I'm wicked smart like that.
So, for all my friends, Jessica's friends, and our combined friends whom I've not yet had the pleasure of meeting who make their way to this specific blog on this specific day, I present to you The Small Male Froofroo Dog Naming List
Ash
Bandit
Bubbles (Tiny Bubbles, to be exact. Doesnt it make you giggle?)
Giggles (you're welcome, Jessica. I know you like that.)
Dozer
Tank
Stud (why, Jessica? Why??)
Monkey (I think we should change the spelling to Monkie to differentiate between her little male dog and my almost-four year old Daughter)
Cane and Abel (if she gets two, we should pit them together and see who wins)
Cane (yes again. If its a white dog, name it Cane. Not like Co-Caine you drugged out hippy. Sugar Cane.)
Zeke (BIG dog name. Under-utilized in my opinion)
Bailey JakeScout (inside joke. Jessica and I have an inside joke. I'm special.)
Binky
Stay (Come, Stay! Stay....Come! Sit, Stay!... Stay...Come! (you get it. it's mean. so am I.))
Beefcake (kickass.)
Mange (it will keep strangers away.)
Dionysus (yes. The Greek God of wine. He shall drink. Especially if Im dogsitting.)
Dickie (Dickie Dick. Sorta like Richie Rich, but funnier. For those of you who need an explanation, Jessica's last name is Dick. Go ahead and laugh. I do.)
Drixoral (yes. An antihistamine. Jessica might be allergic. Then she can nub up on him and not get weepy.)
Douchebag (EVERYbody needs a dog named Douchebag)
Easyrider (insert last name. laugh amongst yourselves)
Ewok (dont know where this came from.)
Goliath (another BIG dog name)
Nuts (yet again insert last name. I amuse myself)
Napoleon (a small dog. Like the man. Only hairier. And without a French accent)
Amigo
Bogart
Chaucer (ask Jessica. She likes it.)
Barbie (silly little gay dog.)
Chopper (grrr)
Turdburglar (it rhymes. Rhyming names are in)
Tequila (for me. Please.)
Rebel
Kevin (a wonderful dog name, if I say so myself)
So. This is just the beginning. If this naming extravaganza takes a long time, I will be adding to this list. Im also open for suggestions. Wait. Let me rephrase. I will read your suggestions and decide if they are worthy of tacking on to my list. Please note, if you send in a suggestion that is beyond brilliance, I will steal it and claim it as mine. I dont want anyone taking credit for their own hard work and wittiness... except for me.
1) movie watching and tostito munching
2) dishes, laundry and miscellany
3) go to work (yea right. What are they gonna do? Fire me?)
4) smoke cigarettes and count how many bugs are stuck between the screen and frame on my porch
5) make a list of puppy names befitting a king. A master. A rough, tough bastard with an affinity for leg humping and toy hiding..
I choose 5. I'm a good namer.
Mind you, this list is not all-inclusive. Names will come and go in my mind and I shant spend too much time on one name before moving on to another. Im a.d.d. like that. Jessica wants a big name for a small dog. Or a funny name. I can do that. I can do both. At the same time. I'm wicked smart like that.
So, for all my friends, Jessica's friends, and our combined friends whom I've not yet had the pleasure of meeting who make their way to this specific blog on this specific day, I present to you The Small Male Froofroo Dog Naming List
Ash
Bandit
Bubbles (Tiny Bubbles, to be exact. Doesnt it make you giggle?)
Giggles (you're welcome, Jessica. I know you like that.)
Dozer
Tank
Stud (why, Jessica? Why??)
Monkey (I think we should change the spelling to Monkie to differentiate between her little male dog and my almost-four year old Daughter)
Cane and Abel (if she gets two, we should pit them together and see who wins)
Cane (yes again. If its a white dog, name it Cane. Not like Co-Caine you drugged out hippy. Sugar Cane.)
Zeke (BIG dog name. Under-utilized in my opinion)
Bailey JakeScout (inside joke. Jessica and I have an inside joke. I'm special.)
Binky
Stay (Come, Stay! Stay....Come! Sit, Stay!... Stay...Come! (you get it. it's mean. so am I.))
Beefcake (kickass.)
Mange (it will keep strangers away.)
Dionysus (yes. The Greek God of wine. He shall drink. Especially if Im dogsitting.)
Dickie (Dickie Dick. Sorta like Richie Rich, but funnier. For those of you who need an explanation, Jessica's last name is Dick. Go ahead and laugh. I do.)
Drixoral (yes. An antihistamine. Jessica might be allergic. Then she can nub up on him and not get weepy.)
Douchebag (EVERYbody needs a dog named Douchebag)
Easyrider (insert last name. laugh amongst yourselves)
Ewok (dont know where this came from.)
Goliath (another BIG dog name)
Nuts (yet again insert last name. I amuse myself)
Napoleon (a small dog. Like the man. Only hairier. And without a French accent)
Amigo
Bogart
Chaucer (ask Jessica. She likes it.)
Barbie (silly little gay dog.)
Chopper (grrr)
Turdburglar (it rhymes. Rhyming names are in)
Tequila (for me. Please.)
Rebel
Kevin (a wonderful dog name, if I say so myself)
So. This is just the beginning. If this naming extravaganza takes a long time, I will be adding to this list. Im also open for suggestions. Wait. Let me rephrase. I will read your suggestions and decide if they are worthy of tacking on to my list. Please note, if you send in a suggestion that is beyond brilliance, I will steal it and claim it as mine. I dont want anyone taking credit for their own hard work and wittiness... except for me.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
A little privacy, please....
As some of you may know, Monkey had her first ballet/tap class last night. She was such a little firecracker! I put her to bed in her tap shoes last night, because I figured it wouldn't hurt anything, and she would probably give me less grief about having to go to bed. This works for me. However, after I was confident that she was asleep, I went into her bedroom and took off her shoes. All is well at this point.
However.
This morning, I slept in a little (ok, alot.) and went into the bathroom to turn on the shower when the youngin' monitor erupts with a screaming monkey. "Daaaaaddddddyyyyyyyy.... (6 second pause) .......Daaaaaaaaddddddddddyyyyyyyyy.....(another 6 second pause)........ Daaaaaaaaaddddddddddyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy....."! I'm pretty good about getting in her room by the third calling. It's cute because each yell is more drawn out than the one before. So I walk into her room and she is sitting on her bed with her arms crossed, holding her new bear that my boss got her when she was in the hospital, and she asks me, "why are my tap shoes on the floor?" Stop. Change to "Deer in Headlights" stance. "You must have taken them off in your sleep, sweetheart..." Why in God's name did I just lie to my child? No turning back now. "I want my shoes back on." I put her shoes back on and got her out of bed and she followed me into my bedroom where she crawled into my bed with her tapdance shoes and pulled all the blankets up to her ears (yes. she likes her ears covered). I tell her I'm going to get in the shower but I'm going to close the door. She asks why. I tell her that I need a little privacy, please. Fine. After my shower, I wrap the towel around my waste and open the door. She is still laying there covered up to her ears. We converse for a moment while I shave. Then I close the door. She asks me why again. I tell her I need a little privacy. Fine. By the time I open the door again, Monkey is in her room with the door shut. I go in there to attempt to get her dressed. She is not in her room. I look around and notice her closet door is closed. I open the door and she is standing in there, naked in her tapdance shoes, putting on her clean underwear. She stops and looks up at me and with the sassiest voice says to me, "a little privacy, please...."
Smartass.
Wonder where she got that from...
However.
This morning, I slept in a little (ok, alot.) and went into the bathroom to turn on the shower when the youngin' monitor erupts with a screaming monkey. "Daaaaaddddddyyyyyyyy.... (6 second pause) .......Daaaaaaaaddddddddddyyyyyyyyy.....(another 6 second pause)........ Daaaaaaaaaddddddddddyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy....."! I'm pretty good about getting in her room by the third calling. It's cute because each yell is more drawn out than the one before. So I walk into her room and she is sitting on her bed with her arms crossed, holding her new bear that my boss got her when she was in the hospital, and she asks me, "why are my tap shoes on the floor?" Stop. Change to "Deer in Headlights" stance. "You must have taken them off in your sleep, sweetheart..." Why in God's name did I just lie to my child? No turning back now. "I want my shoes back on." I put her shoes back on and got her out of bed and she followed me into my bedroom where she crawled into my bed with her tapdance shoes and pulled all the blankets up to her ears (yes. she likes her ears covered). I tell her I'm going to get in the shower but I'm going to close the door. She asks why. I tell her that I need a little privacy, please. Fine. After my shower, I wrap the towel around my waste and open the door. She is still laying there covered up to her ears. We converse for a moment while I shave. Then I close the door. She asks me why again. I tell her I need a little privacy. Fine. By the time I open the door again, Monkey is in her room with the door shut. I go in there to attempt to get her dressed. She is not in her room. I look around and notice her closet door is closed. I open the door and she is standing in there, naked in her tapdance shoes, putting on her clean underwear. She stops and looks up at me and with the sassiest voice says to me, "a little privacy, please...."
Smartass.
Wonder where she got that from...
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
My little Ballerina and other things....
Monkey has her very first Ballet class today! That's right. Juliard, here we come! I am going to be the beaming, retarded father in the corner snapping pictures the ENTIRE time I am there. She has a little leotard, and dance shoes, and she has to have her hair pulled up (which I'm worried about). I can't do hair very well. I have managed a few times to get perfectly straight pigtails, or a pseudo-braid.... but we'll see. I think I'm gonna have to go to CVS and pick up some of those hair clip things that look like a plastic claw. I have little ones but they will not do the trick.
I will be posting pictures of her first class...
OH! This morning.
We seriously need to talk about this.
I was driving down the Durham Freeway coming to work this morning. The wind is blowing. The rain is coming down hard. I am in the left lane driving with traffic, but giving a few extra car lengths to the car in front of me so I don't make them nervous when this PRICK in a BMW gets right on my ass and starts flashing his lights. Number one rule, don't do that. You will be forced to avoid slamming into me when I hit the brakes. This pisses him off. So he jerks to the other lane and pulls up next to me (we are doing about 60 mph) and he stares, so I feel obliged to give him the finger and stare at him while I do it. This does not make him happy, so he speeds up and attempts to cut me off, but in doing so, he hydroplanes into a spin and crashes his car into the median, completely ruining the entire front and side of his car! Serves you right, asshole.
Yes, I did pull over and ask him if he was ok, if he had a cell phone, did he need me to call someone, did he need me to wait on him...
but only after calling him an idiot did I ask these things.
I will be posting pictures of her first class...
OH! This morning.
We seriously need to talk about this.
I was driving down the Durham Freeway coming to work this morning. The wind is blowing. The rain is coming down hard. I am in the left lane driving with traffic, but giving a few extra car lengths to the car in front of me so I don't make them nervous when this PRICK in a BMW gets right on my ass and starts flashing his lights. Number one rule, don't do that. You will be forced to avoid slamming into me when I hit the brakes. This pisses him off. So he jerks to the other lane and pulls up next to me (we are doing about 60 mph) and he stares, so I feel obliged to give him the finger and stare at him while I do it. This does not make him happy, so he speeds up and attempts to cut me off, but in doing so, he hydroplanes into a spin and crashes his car into the median, completely ruining the entire front and side of his car! Serves you right, asshole.
Yes, I did pull over and ask him if he was ok, if he had a cell phone, did he need me to call someone, did he need me to wait on him...
but only after calling him an idiot did I ask these things.
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