The Small Male Froofroo Dog Naming List

A project of sorts was handed to me this morning as I sit on my porch in my rocking chair sipping a cup-a-joe, sifting through e-mails, wondering what I am going to do with my day. Timing couldn't have been better, since my choices for todays meanderings were:
1) movie watching and tostito munching
2) dishes, laundry and miscellany
3) go to work (yea right. What are they gonna do? Fire me?)
4) smoke cigarettes and count how many bugs are stuck between the screen and frame on my porch
5) make a list of puppy names befitting a king. A master. A rough, tough bastard with an affinity for leg humping and toy hiding..

I choose 5. I'm a good namer.

Mind you, this list is not all-inclusive. Names will come and go in my mind and I shant spend too much time on one name before moving on to another. Im a.d.d. like that. Jessica wants a big name for a small dog. Or a funny name. I can do that. I can do both. At the same time. I'm wicked smart like that.

So, for all my friends, Jessica's friends, and our combined friends whom I've not yet had the pleasure of meeting who make their way to this specific blog on this specific day, I present to you The Small Male Froofroo Dog Naming List

Ash
Bandit
Bubbles (Tiny Bubbles, to be exact. Doesnt it make you giggle?)
Giggles (you're welcome, Jessica. I know you like that.)
Dozer
Tank
Stud (why, Jessica? Why??)
Monkey (I think we should change the spelling to Monkie to differentiate between her little male dog and my almost-four year old Daughter)
Cane and Abel (if she gets two, we should pit them together and see who wins)
Cane (yes again. If its a white dog, name it Cane. Not like Co-Caine you drugged out hippy. Sugar Cane.)
Zeke (BIG dog name. Under-utilized in my opinion)
Bailey JakeScout (inside joke. Jessica and I have an inside joke. I'm special.)
Binky
Stay (Come, Stay! Stay....Come! Sit, Stay!... Stay...Come! (you get it. it's mean. so am I.))
Beefcake (kickass.)
Mange (it will keep strangers away.)
Dionysus (yes. The Greek God of wine. He shall drink. Especially if Im dogsitting.)
Dickie (Dickie Dick. Sorta like Richie Rich, but funnier. For those of you who need an explanation, Jessica's last name is Dick. Go ahead and laugh. I do.)
Drixoral (yes. An antihistamine. Jessica might be allergic. Then she can nub up on him and not get weepy.)
Douchebag (EVERYbody needs a dog named Douchebag)
Easyrider (insert last name. laugh amongst yourselves)
Ewok (dont know where this came from.)
Goliath (another BIG dog name)
Nuts (yet again insert last name. I amuse myself)
Napoleon (a small dog. Like the man. Only hairier. And without a French accent)
Amigo
Bogart
Chaucer (ask Jessica. She likes it.)
Barbie (silly little gay dog.)
Chopper (grrr)
Turdburglar (it rhymes. Rhyming names are in)
Tequila (for me. Please.)
Rebel
Kevin (a wonderful dog name, if I say so myself)

So. This is just the beginning. If this naming extravaganza takes a long time, I will be adding to this list. Im also open for suggestions. Wait. Let me rephrase. I will read your suggestions and decide if they are worthy of tacking on to my list. Please note, if you send in a suggestion that is beyond brilliance, I will steal it and claim it as mine. I dont want anyone taking credit for their own hard work and wittiness... except for me.